So I flew out to Buffalo to pick up a 1996 Hummer H1. Yes, the real thing, before they got bought by GM and turned into Suburbans with Arnold-inspired bodywork. The thing is a beast, in the best possible sense. It weights four times more than the Lotus. And it drives like it weighs four times more. People do not pull out in front of you.
Here are the photos from Buffalo to Seattle: Day One. And, since I know that future generations will be desperate for more details of this mini-adventure, here’s the story so far:
10:30am - Met Vinny, test drove the H1, found it to be great fun. Resisted urge to run over pedestrians and curbs. Signed papers, that sort of thing.
11:30am - Headed out of Buffalo, north towards Canada. Realized that just aiming in the general direction of home might be wildly inefficient, and might miss some worthy sights and stops. Got a little confused about what general direction Canada lay in. If I-90 West has a right angle turn to the right and then I-290 veers off perpindicular to the left of that, is that towards Canada or Ohio?
12:00pm - Used Google maps to write pen-and-paper directions to find nearest Circuit City
12:15pm - Bought Garmin nuvi 350 GPS unit at Circuit City. Found out which way Canada is with near certainty.
12:25pm - Confirmed that the H1’s stereo has no aux in or iPod connection. 3000 miles with two audiobooks on CD sounds unpleasant. Not sure if they have stores in Canada. Used new GPS unit to find nearest Best Buy (two blocks from Circuit City, of course).
12:30pm - Bought new Alipne head unit and powered subwoofer. Mark at Best Buy was nice, said he’d have it installed in two hours or so. Was itching to get on the road, but not without tunes and iPhone-based audiobooks. Went shopping, bought books, bought CDs.
2:45pm - Stereo install done. Sounds good. Program GPS unit to take me to Canada, wondering what they’ll think of the truck with a lien on it, registered to someone else.
2:47pm - Aaaaaaargh. Goddamned new Alpine head unit can’t shuffle songs from an iPod playlist. It can shuffle songs from a single album, or all songs on the device. iPhone has both audiobooks and music, so shuffle means getting random chapters of books I haven’t read yet mixed in with my music. Somewhat annoying. I don’t know who Franklin is yet, but I’m sorry he’s having such a hard time.
3:15pm - Got to Canadian border. Some traffic, maybe a 30 minute wait to cross. Fought with Alpine head unit more. Its iPod “support” is atrocious. Its UI is anti-dis-counterintuitive. What have I bought? 3000 miles with this thing? I may have to kill it.
3:45pm -Got to border agent. He looks at my Washington driver’s license. Asks where I’m going: Seattle. Asks if I’ve got alcohol: no. Asks if I’ve got firearms: no. Asks what I am carrying: luggage. Asks if my luggage: resist urge for smart-ass comment, stick to “no.” Asks how long I’ll be in Canada: 5 days? 10 days? And that’s it. They’ve let me into the country (more than Pace can say).
4:15pm - Driving towards Niagara Falls, Ontario. See sign for helicopter tours. Hey, that sounds like fun.
4:30pm - Arrive at helicopter tour place. $110. Sounds reasonable, I’m in.
4:45pm - Wheee, this is fun. Gorgeous views. Terrified English tourists flying with me. Niagara Falls is actually really, really pretty. At least from 2000 feet.
5:05pm - Back at the heliport. Um. Yes, that was fun. Yes, that was a great view. But $110 for a 20 minute helicopter ride? About three times what I’m used to paying in Hawaii? Ouch. I’m in the wrong business.
5:30pm - Arrive at Hilton Niagara Falls. Woohoo, they were smart and built it with all rooms on the falls side, and just a hallway on the inland side.
5:35pm - Got a great room on the falls side. On the 9th floor. With only a 12 floor building between me and the falls. Oh well. It does have a whirlpool tub, at least.
6:00pm - At least the hotel bar, on the 34th floor, has a good view. The falls really are pretty, Mark Twain notwithstanding. Bartender was confused about the relationships and differences between ales, pale ales, and India pale ales. For shame.
6:30pm - Dinner at Watermark, on the 33rd foor. Perfectly respectable, at least the server was knowledgeable about local wine and had a sense of humor. Weird Caesar salad (bacon?!), good prime rib with good horseradish, somewhat dry chocolate cake. Decent, but nothing special.
Highlight: The new toy, of course.
Lowlight: The Caesar salad at Watermark, in the Hilton Niagara Falls. Yes, bacon and anchovies are both salty. That does not mean you should substitute them willy-nilly.
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